FBI investigation in East Lansing

[RichRodriguez]

Associated Press, EAST LANSING , (MI) — Michigan State Spartan football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Mark Dantonio immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to Spartan players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

[blueisbetterthanred]

An old joke thread? epic.
--------------

It was graduation night at uos and everyone was anxious for the festivities to begin! Once everyone packed in the hall and took their seats, the dean got up to address the students.

"Welcome nut jobs! Tonight we will celebrate the amazing spectacle that is THEE university of shit! But before we begin, I have some bad news. Chris, one one of our highest paid.. er.. most highly respected athletes, is short one credit to gradjooate! Unfortunately, he was unable to receive a passing grade in our course, "Introduction to the maths."

Everyone in the place got real quiet and sad. *sniff*

"Not to worry though sucknuts! The Ohio Board of Edjoocation has agreed to let Chris take one final test here tonight so he can gradjooate! On a completely unrelated note, tuition will go up for everyone next year to help cover an unrelated expense! Now let's welcome to the stage, CHRIS!!!"

Everyone cheers as he saunters up to the stage, tripping on the steps on his way up.

"Hi coach!" Chris says, walking up to the dean.

"No Chris, I'm the dean. Remember?"

"Oh, Dean! I forgot your last name. Nice to see you again!"

"Don't worry about it. Ok Chris let's get started. Are you ready?"

"Sure am Dean!"

"Ok Chris, first question: What is 8+1?"

"That's easy coach! 7!"

The whole auditorium groans and yells, "Give Chris another chance! Give Chris another chance!"

"Ok Chris let's try another one. What is 3x2?"

"3x2? 5! I told you I had these maths down!"

The whole place groans again and yells, "Give Chris another chance! Give Chris another chance!"

"Ok Chris, you get one more chance to get this right. We have made sure the board is 'well taken care of' so just answer this and you will gradjooate! What is 2x2?"

"I know this one coach! It's 4!"

The whole place groans and yells, "Give Chris another chance! Give Chris another chance!"

[GoGreen23]

Associated Press, EAST LANSING , (MI) — Michigan State Spartan football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Mark Dantonio immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to Spartan players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

Well I heard the same powder was found in Ann Arbor but no one seemed able to hang on to it....

Hahaha, it was kind of funny. I liked the OSU one better!

[amazinblue]

GoGreen23,

The only thing I believe is relevant to the "white powder" story is - we certainly had problems sniffing the goal line last season - I don't think we'll have the same problem this season...

[GoGreen23]

GoGreen23,

The only thing I believe is relevant to the "white powder" story is - we certainly had problems sniffing the goal line last season - I don't think we'll have the same problem this season...

amazinblue,

I also don't think we'll see a season like last year for Michigan anytime soon. That's like a once in a lifetime occurrence. I was just trying to spin the joke around. I guess it just wasn't very funny, for you guys anyway. I was just wanted to have a little fun at the rival's expense! I'm sure you can relate to that.

[amazinblue]

amazinblue,

I also don't think we'll see a season like last year for Michigan anytime soon. That's like a once in a lifetime occurrence. I was just trying to spin the joke around. I guess it just wasn't very funny, for you guys anyway. I was just wanted to have a little fun at the rival's expense! I'm sure you can relate to that.

GG23,

Despite the fact that you're a fan of Sparty - you're still cool. I didn't "read in" any offensive comments or suggestions - nor did I interpret your comment that way. Personally, the "goal line" comment (though it first surfaced a couple of years ago) - has always made me smile.

Good luck to Sparty in the Big Dance. My hope is that we might line up in the B10 tourney - if so, the gloves are off....

[Sparty23]

Associated Press, EAST LANSING , (MI) — Michigan State Spartan football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Mark Dantonio immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to Spartan players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

Jealous much?

[TNTWolverine]

Jealous much?

:eek:

That is all I can say...

[Sparty23]

The irony in this thread is unbelievable.

[TNTWolverine]

The irony in this thread is unbelievable.

It truly is, and you don't even realize it. Some day you will accept that Michigan State will never be on the same level as Michigan, in terms of athletics and academics. I understand that pisses you off. But don’t worry little brother, it’s called an inferiority complex and it seems to be common among you’re kind.

[GoGreen23]

The irony in this thread is unbelievable.

What does it say in your avatar picture?

[RichRodriguez]

Jealous much?

i love it. you win one game when Michigan has the worst season in 40 years and you think you're king. you will always and forever be Little Brother.

[bluefan]

i love it. you win one game when Michigan has the worst season in 40 years and you think you're king. you will always and forever be Little Brother.

Uhhh...they definitely don't warrant capitalizing "little brother".